Depression

Note: this is not medical advice…just some things to consider.


Depression, oddly enough, can sometimes be considered a friend. So ask it: “Why have you come to me now? What are you trying to tell me? What healthy thing/s can I do to invite you to leave?”


  • Is someone hurting you physically, verbally, or emotionally? Do you need to remove yourself from a certain environment?

  • Do you feel dread because there is an unhealthy culture at home or at work?

  • Are you doing something that you think you “should” be doing or that society, your family, or a religion says is prestigious, but your spirit is crying out for something different?

  • Do you feel you aren't free to live your life? Is someone or some group trying to limit you? Do you feel you are responsible for other people's fears and reactions?

  • Do you need to process past pain or loss? Are you needing to accept the responsibility of doing the work of getting over what happened to you?

  • Do you need to step up, take control of your life, and stop thinking and acting like a victim?

  • Are you engaging in sexual promiscuity and know you should stop?

  • Are you engaging in any other type of immoral behavior and trying to rationalize that it's right for you?

  • Might you be in a cult and need to test it out to see if that's true?

  • Is there an accompanying addiction that might be contributing to this? Addiction is often an unhealthy soothing mechanism to cover pain. Seek to learn what that pain is and how it can be remedied in a healthy way. Therapy can help.

  • Have you reached despair and are ready for grace?

  • Do you feel you’re in an SOS crisis situation and need to give yourself permission to take 1-3 days off from everything and rest? You just might need to cancel everything and do it.


Note, if you are experiencing an extreme circumstance and don't know how to ask for help, you can always go to a hospital emergency department. Another good option is to go to a church and hand the pastor a piece of paper with the word "Help" written on it. These options apply whether the circumstance has recently happened or is ongoing. Please, go ask for help and accept it. Hospitals and churches will quickly draw upon experts to create a plan that will help you, no matter the circumstance.


Expect a process of healing to take time. Consider most or all of these options:


  • Therapist (preferably one trained in the John Townsend method)

  • Healthcare provider (one who only uses pharmaceuticals if emergency)

  • Biblical counselor

  • Talk with clergy

  • Spiritual director

  • Small group at church

  • Expressive writing—pour out your viciously honest heart on paper for 20 minutes a day for four days (tear it up afterward if you want for privacy). This can often help bring clarity and indicate a potential next step for moving forward.

  • Coach (including 360-evaluation from 8-10 people in your life)

  • Make a daily gratitude list. Make sure you remain aware of the blessings you have (There's no Great Depression going on, jobs are available, and there is food to eat).

  • Take some workshops/classes on how to address conflict, how to appropriately express frustrations, and how to ask for what you want and need.

  • Do you need to improve your diet? Junk food such as processed foods can affect a person's mood.

  • Go to workshops on how to set good boundaries. Some people are trying to manipulate you with tactics—learn to see those tactics and identify them as such.

  • Volunteer/service project. Even if you are in a season of needing to receive, you can still give of yourself and receive the blessings that come from volunteering.



An option for Spiritual Director: Todd Rosspencer: 888-608-3006, spiritualleadership.com.


Get to know the Cloud/Townsend Character Structure (books include “Changes that heal” by Henry Cloud and “People Fuel” by John Townsend)

—Bond in meaningful ways with others

—Take initiative as your own self and place boundaries on others

—Be super aware of reality, and be okay with imperfections in yourself and others

—Adult well with purpose, follow-through, healthy sexual expression, and mission


Coach trained in Townsend model: DrScottLivingston.com.


Books to consider


“What to do when you don’t know what to do: discouragement & depression” by John Townsend


“Depression: Looking Up from the Stubborn Darkness” by Edward Welch


“Boundaries” by John Townsend and Henry Cloud


“Let your life speak” by Parker Palmer


“The antidote” by Oliver Burkeman


“The power of the other” by Henry Cloud

 

Contact me at anseloliver.com. 

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